After a breakup, it can be hard to take care of yourself. After all, the breakup process itself was already exhausting enough, full of lots of drama, phone calls to your friends and family, and lots of crying. And now that the breakup has finally happened, you find yourself so sad that you’re wallowing, lying down in the dark of your room and listening to songs that remind you of your ex. While some of this behavior is necessary, an essential step of grieving what you once had, at a certain point, you need to think about your emotional health. After enough time has gone by, you need to move on and learn from the experience.We know that going through a breakup is hard. We feel for you. But deep down, you know that this wasn’t the right relationship for you and that you deserve better. And to start living that new life you know you deserve, here’s how to move on and be emotionally healthy.
Reconnect with your friends
When we’re in a relationship, it’s easy to get sucked into spending 100 percent of your time with your partner. You used to go out with your girlfriends, but as your relationship became more serious, you might have gotten into the habit of staying in watching TV and eating pizza. When your friends called, you didn’t go out right away.
Now, you have a chance to reconnect with your friends. You can start having fun again, whether that’s going on a hike or going out dancing. Just remember: in 2017, the number of people in the US who don’t have a spouse or partner rose to more than 45 percent, which means that you won’t have to see lots of couples when you go out. Instead, you’ll see lots of people like you, having a great time!
Do what you love again
Another person you might have lost touch with is yourself. Especially if the relationship you were in was toxic, or you tend to give up a lot of yourself for your partners, you might have stopped doing what you love. For some of us, it’s something artistic like music; for others, it’s going to the gym every day. The fact is, now you suddenly have your time back, so you can decide how you want to spend it.
And when it comes to treating yourself, you should never feel guilty about that. Sure, spending a little extra money on a spa day or a laptop bag for women might seem like an indulgence–but when you’ve gone through hard times, indulgences are necessary! Considering that, for women aged 18 to 34, 53 percent of them are stressed by romantic relationships, a little retail therapy is never a bad thing.
Get some professional help
Therapy is also another option for helping you stay emotionally healthy. If your relationship lasted so long you can barely live without it, for example, or if you find yourself turning to drugs or alcohol to deal with your sadness–then it’s time to speak with a professional. Mental illness is already so common; in Canada alone, a country known for its civility, one in five people will experience a mental health problem in any given year. Anxiety and depression are some of the most common, and these can be exacerbated when someone’s dealing with a breakup.
If you can’t find a therapist who’s covered by your insurance plan, you can still find professional help in other ways. For example, there are online services like Talkspace and Breakthrough, which are affordable and can be paid for out of pocket. The city you live in might also have public services; do some research online and see if there are cheap psychologists available.
Get your heart pumped
Finally, one of the best ways of fixing your heart after a breakup is giving it a workout–and we mean a physical one. Exercise has been demonstrated to have a multitude of benefits, and while many of these are physical benefits like weight loss, there are also mental health benefits such as improved mood and increased focus. Especially if you’re having trouble getting out of bed in the morning, having an exercise routine can force you out of it–and once you’re running, listening to your favorite artists on Spotify, you’ll start to forget about your ex a little bit.
Considering that 21.2 percent of Americans aged 18-29 are joggers, you might even find a new beau out on the sidewalk while you’re running at 6 a.m.
But first, get emotionally healthy, and see if they can catch up to you. Emotional health is a huge deal, especially after a breakup, which is why you should follow these strategies.
What other strategies do you use to feel better about yourself and get over an ex?