With our current world being in a permanent state of connection, it may be easy to fall back on what’s familiar and stop looking for deeper ones, like with a significant other. We’ve been so used to our phones ringing all the time with work matters, social nights with friends, spending time with family and other hobbies or casual activities. It’s easy to forgo dating when you already have so much on your plate. It can all get a little tiring sometimes, we get it.
For some, saying you have no time to date can be the easiest go-to excuse at the dinner table. After all, “I don’t have time” sounds a lot more appealing than “I don’t feel like looking for someone to be with”. On the other hand, if you do feel like you’re single and ready to mingle, then make sure you are honest with yourself, and that dating isn’t just another way to keep yourself busy. If meeting up with your friends at the bar seems like a better idea than getting coffee with that guy you swiped on Tinder, that’s alright too. Just make sure you’re clear about what you want before you feel like you want to start seeing anybody. Check out this comparison to further help you get closer to your dating and relationship goals.
If you do feel like you’re ready, here are some ways to help you get started while minimizing the impact on your already busy schedule.
Firstly, it might help to fix the problem at its root cause: your schedule. If you take a look and realize you really don’t have free time, then force yourself to take the step and free up some space on your calendar. “But I really need a movie night!” you say? Well if Brad Pitt were to call you out for dinner that day I’m sure movie night would have to wait. It all boils down to prioritization. Consider opening up one night a week as “date night” for yourself, and use that time to really get out and about. You don’t have to strictly follow this of course. If luck isn’t shining down upon you and no one’s matched with you that week, feel free to just take that day off and use it for some quality solo time.
If you’re always caught up in social engagements that make it hard to find time to date, then why not try getting the best of both worlds? The definition of dating has slowly but surely changed over the years. Gone are the days of going out one-on-one to a restaurant in a fancy dress and those heels which make your feet sore but you still wear them because there’s no way you’re going to such a nice place looking like a slob! Instead, why not invite your date to come along to join you on some pre-existing plans that you’ve made with friends? Dating nowadays isn’t so much about formality as it is just hanging out and getting to know one another.
If you’re going out to the bowling alley or hitting the pubs this weekend for a crawl, ask your date to come along and join in the fun. Saving yourself some time isn’t the only benefit here. For one thing, having a date in a group setting can make things more relaxed and even less awkward. You’re not stuck the whole night with the same person, and if the date goes sour you’re not necessarily always having to look for a way out. Just having other people there can provide a comfortable social environment to get to know each other better, while having something fun to do at the same time.
What’s more, having to meet them in a group setting allows you to see how your potential SO interacts with others, something you wouldn’t be able to get on a traditional one-on-one date. Having them meet your friends could also be an easy way to just simply get advice or opinions from your friends right there on the spot.
Lastly, getting yourself into the right mindset for dating can be of tremendous help even though it is a seemingly obvious thing. Sometimes we put up walls and find excuses (such as not having time) in order to prevent ourselves from having to face the rejections and emotional rollercoasters that might come with dating. Being busy here becomes a crutch rather than a legitimate reason.
Allowing yourself to shift to a mindset where dating becomes more of a priority can mean opening up yourself to the emotional and mental possibilities that come with finding the right partner. When you really do meet the right one, you’re then more likely to let them into your life and accept them on a deeper level.
Allowing yourself to be open also means being okay with letting yourself be more vulnerable, which in turn can help you with finding the right partner. In order to make the most of your time spent dating, you need to be willing to be honest about yourself. Even if the matchup doesn’t work out, the time you spent will still help you learn more about yourself, what worked and what didn’t, and you can then move forward from that experience in a positive manner.
Think about why you really want to be with somebody and not just the idea of being with that person. What does finding your significant other really mean to you? If you can answer that question honestly and clearly then it becomes easier to organize your life and your schedule around the reason you’ve given yourself and how much importance you place on it.
All in all, dating isn’t really a numbers game. You can spend years trying to find the right person and they may never show up, so the amount of time you put strictly doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you are clear about your goals, why you want them, and that you at least create the time and the opportunity to be able to go about it.