This is an extract from the Australian Edition of ‘Women & Money’ by Suze Orman.
A wealthy woman absolutely has money, but she also has happiness, courage, balance, and harmony. A wealthy woman is generous, clean, wise, and therefore beautiful. A wealthy woman has it all, so to speak, and brings these qualities into every relationship, carries them with her in every waking moment of her life. It’s my wish that you will carry these eight qualities within you wherever you go and that they will serve as your guideposts to make sure you are always walking towards wealth rather than walking away from it. It is important that you understand that all eight qualities must be present and work together at all times in order to attain and maintain the true state of a wealthy woman.
The eight qualities of a wealthy woman are: Harmony, Balance, Courage, Generosity, Happiness, Wisdom, Cleanliness, Beauty.
QUALITIES 1 AND 2: HARMONY AND BALANCE
Harmony is an agreement in feeling, approach, and sympathy. It is the pleasing interaction between what you think, feel, say, and do.
Balance is a state of emotional and rational stability in which you are calm and able to make sound decisions and judgments.
When you possess true inner harmony, what you think, say, feel, and do is one. We are so accustomed to this split-screen state of mind in which we think one thing, say another, feel something else, and act in a way that has nothing to do with what we just thought, said, or felt. When you detect an imbalance, you are to stop whatever it is you are about to say or do and investigate the location of it. Take note when you feel agitated, it’s a sign of impairment. If you read the definition of balance again—a state of emotional and rational stability in which you are calm and able to make sound decisions and judgments—you will understand that it is an essential cornerstone to a lifetime of correct and powerful behaviour.
QUALITY 3: COURAGE
Courage is the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.
Fear is usually what stands between us and our courage. We’re afraid to rock the boat. We’re afraid of confrontation. We’re afraid to upset someone. We’re afraid we’ll lose our job. We’re afraid he will divorce us. We’re afraid our kids won’t love us. We’re afraid of what others may think of us. We’re afraid we will be flat broke. The list goes on and on. But if we are to embrace this quality of courage to its fullest, we can no longer allow ourselves to hide behind fear.
The only way to conquer fear, finally, is through action. You can meditate on your fear and think about it rationally and try to will it away, but in the end, if fear is preventing you from acting, you must find your courage and act to overcome your fear. You find the courage to silence your fear and you say what’s on your mind, you do what you believe must be done, you express your feelings.
QUALITY 4: GENEROSITY
Generosity is when you give the right thing to the right person
at the right time—and it benefits both of you.
Generosity is a quality that most women can tap into very easily—maybe too easily, if you ask me. As women, we tend to be overly generous with our time, support, love, and money—but giving simply for the sake of giving does not match the definition of true generosity as stated above.
It is very important that you understand that true generosity is as much about the one who gives as it is about the one who receives. If an act of generosity benefits the receiver but saps the giver, then it is not true generosity in my book.
QUALITY 5: HAPPINESS
Happiness is a state of wellbeing and contentment.
If you are not happy, then I would ask you to try to find the place in your life where there is discord and not harmony. Have you wanted to do or say something but failed to find the courage to act? Have you been too giving or generous for the wrong reasons? When you are unhappy, you feel as if something is missing in your life—and that something becomes a hole to be filled. It is dangerous to be in a state of wanting, for it leads to decisions that are not always made with your long-term best interests in mind.
Happiness is not a luxury. It is a necessity for true wealth. When you are happy, you find pure joy in your life. You are not in a state of wanting but a state of contentment. You have the satisfaction of knowing that your actions come from a place of purity and balance, that they are correct and generous and kind. There are no regrets in this state of happiness—and that’s a goal worth striving for in all areas of your life.
QUALITY 6: WISDOM
Wisdom is the knowledge and experience needed to make sensible decisions and judgments, or the good sense shown by the decisions and judgments made from an accumulated knowledge of life that has been gained through experience.
The quality of wisdom is more than intellectual, and it is in no way related to how much schooling you have. Exercising wisdom requires cutting through the noise of life and tapping into your core beliefs to make thoughtful decisions. Wisdom results from inhabiting all the qualities that came before it. A wise woman recognises when her life is out of balance and summons the courage to act to correct it. A wise woman knows the meaning of true generosity. A wise woman knows happiness is the reward for a life lived in harmony, with courage and grace. A wise woman knows how to summon her courage and do what is right, rather than what is easy.
QUALITY 7: CLEANLINESS
Cleanliness is a state of purity, clarity, and precision.
Cleanliness is about respecting the importance of order and organisation. When you don’t know where your money is, when you have no filing system for your important documents, when you dive into your wallet to pull out crumpled notes, when your car looks like a garbage bin, when your cupboards are filled with junk and clutter—I’m sorry, but you cannot possibly be a wealthy woman.
Start with your wallet and make sure all the notes face the same way and that every morning you put them in order, from $5 upwards. Next, donate clothing you have not used or worn in the past 12 months to a charity of your choice. Simply throw out all the old beauty products that go unused. Remember, when you keep things around you that are worthless to you, they end up making you feel worthless.
QUALITY 8: BEAUTY
Beauty is the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit.
Beauty is what you create when you incorporate the other seven qualities into your life. When you take the steps to have harmony, balance, courage, generosity, happiness, wisdom, cleanliness, and beauty in your life, you will exude confidence in who you are. And there is nothing more beautiful than a confident woman. Remember, when you are confident you feel secure, and when you feel secure you have no fear. And when you have no fear, you have the courage to say what you think and feel in a calm and wise way. And when you are calm, you make wise decisions with your money, which then allows you to be truly generous to others as well as yourself, which, in turn, makes you a happy, powerful, and beautiful woman. Do you see how all of these qualities work together to help you arrive at the goal of being a woman in control of her destiny?