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For a long time, there has been a tendency among couples in relationships not to register their marriage and not have a stamp in their passport for life. Generally young people live in a civil marriage and, in fact, no one owes anything to anyone. They try not to burden each other and not to violate each other’s freedoms. However, couples still establish certain boundaries of what is permissible, which distinguishes their relationship from free relationships. And many civil marriages without a stamp turn out to be happy and successful.
Why is this happening in the modern world? What happened to our consciousness that we began to look at things differently than our parents and the older generation?
Unofficial values
Contrary to popular belief, civil marriage is not just a matter for young people. Sociologists confirm the fact that unregistered relationships take place among couples of different age categories, albeit in different proportions. The ratio of formal marriages and civil marriages among young people is 50 to 50. For older people, this ratio still increases towards formalized relationships. The older people get, the less common cohabitation is.
Studies show that, in general, after 2-5 years of relationship and living in an unregistered marriage, couples either come to formalize their union, or separate. It is also important to consider how people perceive civil marriage and what it means to them. For some people, unregistered relationships are the normal thing. Basically, they do not want to burden themselves with paperwork and believe that their relationship does not need official recognition, since a stamp in a passport will not change anything at all. For other people, civil marriage is a way to test yourself and your partner. How they can get along together, when they are alone with each other without the moralizing of their parents. It is also an opportunity to get to know each other, because when you just meet, then you have no opportunity to find out how your partner behaves in everyday life and what habits he has. After all this, the couples decide whether they should marry, or whether they need to part. Although many couples remain in a suspended position, they are only getting used to each other.
The power of the symbolism
Often outside observers like to attach labels and call couples who do not want to formalize their marriage as frivolous and irresponsible.
It seems to many people that if a couple does not make the decision to begin a legal relationship, then their relationship is a travesty and this is not for a long period of time. Nobody cares how strong your relationship is.
There is an opinion that since there is no ring on your finger, then you are not ready for marriage. But supporters of the opposite opinion say that they have the same responsibility to each other as people in marriage. It is difficult to imagine such a situation when people who have been living together for 5 years and improving their way of life, are able to destroy everything in one day and end the relationship. However, every year the percentage of people who accept the idea of cohabitation is increasing.
However, some family psychologists and counselors say that there is still a difference in the degree of responsibility between people in marriage and people with unregistered relationships.
It seems that people do not take into account the psychological responsibility to each other when they live in a civil marriage. As if the reliability of a marriage still depends on the registration of the marriage officially. Since when your relationship is legalized, then you two are legally responsible. The very understanding that after your breakup you will have to regulate your breakup officially and deal with documentation prevents parting.
In the role of an unfree person
Another reason for choosing a civil marriage is the unwillingness of people to take on socially induced responsibilities imposed by society.
The wife has to do this and this, and the husband has to do this and that.
People want to live without social labels. Everyone wants to have freedom of action and be able to negotiate with their partner.
The concept of “partnership” is often used among people who do not want to legitimize their relationship. Couples began to perceive themselves and their lovers differently. A partnership is that both desires and interests of both people are equal.
In traditional families, there is no such thing as taking into account the interests of everyone. In marriage, what would be needed for the marriage always moves to the forefront, even in spite of what they both have to sacrifice. Negotiating and finding common ground is a key to building partnerships.
The advantage in a civil marriage is that people can separate at any time without formal delay. And all property and non-property rights and obligations arise for spouses only from the moment they enter into an official marriage in the registry office. For example, the right to inherit by law, when a husband or wife, in the event of the death of one of the spouses, becomes the heirs, or the right to share jointly acquired property in equal shares, regardless of which of the spouses worked and who was engaged in the household. In such matters, you cannot do without the help of a family inheritance lawyer. And in a civil marriage, a person will need only to prove that it was him/her who acquired this or that property.
So, it is impossible to predict whether a traditional marriage will prevail over an unregistered union. However, it is gratifying that today’s youth are thinking more and more about their own interests than about what others will think.