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As a sexologist, I educate on all subjects related to human sexuality. One topic has always been a bit tricky for me personally, however: menopause.
Menopause is one thing that I believe you cannot truly understand until you have been through it yourself. In the interest of full disclosure, I will say that I have yet to experience it. I am not going to pretend to be the authority on the change, but there is one aspect that I can advise on – how it impacts your sexuality! Here are a few things to consider that may make life (at least, your bedroom one) a little easier.
Communication:
Given the intimate nature of menopause, many women are hesitant to communicate new changes with their partner. After all, we are taught that this part of our body is “private” and not necessarily appropriate for dinner table conversations (though maybe things would be better if it were!). It’s important to let your partner in on any changes, feelings, hot flashes or frustrations. This time in life can require creativity and patience, so try to remember that they won’t always be able to keep pace with your sudden shifts in mood without a heads up!
Information:
As with any big event or life change, it’s a good idea to prepare yourself with facts and research to help understand what’s ahead. Information is a powerful thing, and can help women choose which path is best for them. Everyone is different; each woman will feel different emotions and believe in different
remedies. Base your decisions on education and investigation, not gossip or social pressures. You and your body are unique, and your experience of menopause is no exception.
Relaxation and happiness:
It’s often beneficial to examine the state of your affairs outside the bedroom before taking a look at what is going on beneath the sheets. Menopause can be stressful for many women, and feeling sexual might be the last thing on your mind. Is it a decrease in hormones? Maybe you’ve been feeling increased stress or anxiety? Maybe you’re even suffering from a lack of sleep due to night sweats. Consider carefully how these side effects are impacting your daily life, and find new tactics to battle such unwanted stressors. That way, you can explore your sexuality in a relaxed state.
Explore your sexuality:
Things could be changing sexually, so now is a good time to ask yourself what you want from your bedroom life. Sex is definitely not for procreation during menopause, so the emphasis is generally on pleasure. The body may be shutting down its reproductive abilities, but the brain still craves pleasure. It’s important to note that many sexual issues experienced during this time are not actually caused by menopause, but rather sexual boredom. This, however, is a great reason to experiment with whatever it is you want out of sex, and any desires you might have.
Lubricant:
Every adult woman should have a good lubricant in her top drawer, but this becomes especially important during menopause. With a decrease in hormones, the lining of the vaginal wall can thin, making sex uncomfortable. Investing in a good lubricant is a quick and easy solution for this.
Sex toys:
Last but not least, try to have some fun with this next stage of life! As mentioned, the focus is on pleasure. Get creative and try a couples product like We-Vibe 4. This non-intimidating product is backed by years of research to ensure that both you and your partner get the most out of sex. This dual-armed vibrator is a helping hand that she wears during sex for extra stimulation to her G-spot and clitoris. You know what they say – an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away!
Nikki Goldstein is the Australian Ambassador for We-Vibe
We-Vibe® designs and manufactures world-leading couples and solo vibrators. World-class engineers and industrial designers work closely with sexual wellness experts, doctors and consumers to design and develop intimate products that work in sync with the human body.